Overprotective and narcissistic mothers: compendium and perspectives Narcissism is a category of behavioral analysis that began to appear in the specialized literature after the book The Culture of Narcissism, published in 1979 by Christopher Lasch. Several authors diverge on the conceptualization of the theme and here in the article I will bring two strands of thoughts. Read on and understand more aboutOverprotective mother.

Overprotective mother

Is a Narcissistic Mother an exhibitionist? Some scholars reduce and characterize Narcissistic Mother as an exhibitionist woman who doesn't care about her child's needs.

The narcissistic mother, moreover, does not want her son to have any independence in life. The narcissist is someone fragile, unloved, with low self-esteem, and because he is always turned in on himself, the impression is given that he loves himself very much.

This is basic Freudian reasoning. Narcissism tends to grow in a society like ours, where people are tested all the time and are always dissatisfied, in addition to the authoritarian and regressive need that one has to be in continuous improvement and refinement, since it implies that at some point another individual may pass in front of you.

Overprotective and narcissistic mother

The only reason this mother wants her son to have achievements is to show them off to others, but she doesn't want this son to feel good about his achievement, she makes the son believe that she provided it for him, she takes all the credit from the son for anything.

A narcissistic mother hates an independent son who outshines her. She reverses the roles, making her believe that it is the son who is responsible in the relationship, who, in her view, should have an unconditional devotion to her and have his whole life focused solely on her needs.

Dysfunctional families and liquid bonds, as Bauman (2003) says, only help to worsen the narcissism of the children born into these environments.

Overprotective mother the feeling of possession

It is possible to identify a narcissistic mother, specifically, when thinking about a woman who believes that the child is a possession and has a project of having a child, because if she doesn't, her achievements will be incomplete This works for men too.

This whole idea is a classic case these days, as we witness a narcissistic mother and see it as a kind of epidemic. When she is pregnant, she becomes obsessed with all kinds of tests that are done and wants her child to be perfect.

So some of the characteristics of this mother is to see the child as a continuity or as a project that completes her, she sees the child as something that should make her life absolutely full. She thinks of her child as an extension of her life.

The "care" of the overprotective Mother

The goal is to be able to show others that she is an excellent mother. For example, in an amusement park, this mother is the most attentive and careful.

Interesting to note is that this mother will probably work and, at an opportune moment, place a camera in this child's room for the purpose of observing this child via her cell phone.

The result is that the person growing up becomes unable to cope with the adversities of life, absolutely insecure, and with the feeling that his mother is completely invasive.

But then, what is a narcissistic mother?

It is a mother for whom the child is an object of personal fulfillment solely beyond any normal maternal vanity. It is a mother who wishes that this child would not give her any trouble.

This mother creates tools to avoid the anxieties of motherhood since she is a fragile person. She wants to reduce the child's life as much as possible so that the child does not create any new afflictions for her.

Another re-reading as to the meaning of the term Children can even function as a project, but the overprotection that many authors describe is something that can happen in many situations and cannot serve as the main characteristic of the narcissistic mother.

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The sway of the narcissistic mother

It is a fact that the narcissistic mother oscillates between carelessness, absence, indifference, authoritarianism, and tyranny. When the child or teenager doesn't offer so much trouble (when the behavior is of the desired form) the mother gets busy with other matters of her interest and doesn't give a damn about the child.

However, when the child begins to behave contrary to the narcissistic mother's plans, she takes an authoritarian approach to force the child to do what she wants. There is such a thing as the narcissistic mother who smothers with extreme care, however the focus is always on the other and not on the child itself to be healthier or more capable.

Do they want applause?

If she has some care that the other person is not seeing, she will be relapid because all that matters is the applause of others. Every mother has to deal with the inevitable suffering of her child and learn to bear it understanding that it is part of maturing.

This dilemma has absolutely no relation to the selfishness of the narcissistic mother, who nowadays has come to be compared with a kind of psychopathy where there is no true love for the child and only cares about herself and her feelings.

Young children in general are not as much victims of narcissistic mothers as adolescent and adult children.

Final considerations

Narcissistic mothers are cruel, do not truly love one or more of their children, often humiliate their children with inappropriate comments, are envious of their son or daughter's personal achievements, cannot be happy due to their low self-esteem.

When she is put against the wall by her disguised wickedness, she plays the victim, the sufferer. It is not easy to live with people with these behavioral traits.

It is important to remember that many mothers are not aware that they are narcissists and that their excesses can harm their children.

This article was written by Wallison Christian Soares Silva ([email protected]), psychoanalyst, economist, specialist in Neuropsychoanalysis, post-graduate student in People Management, and student of Literature and Literature.