We are living in a time when relationships are no longer viewed with so much taboo. Of course there is still prejudice, hostility, but there is more freedom today than a few years ago. However, even in the face of so much demystification, do you know someone who cannot relate intimately with someone unknown? Then, perhaps this person is demisexual .

Whereas demisexuality is something still little known and complex we did this article on the subject.

What is demisexuality?

This term is used to describe a different kind of relationship, in which the sexual attraction only appears after a psychological, intellectual or emotional bond is established. In other words, the person is not attracted to a person just because he or she is beautiful. It is necessary to know the other person.

Moreover, demisexuality is in a zone of blurring located between asexuals and allosexuals.

What moves a person demisexual is the sentimental connection with a partner is the most important. The main difference between asexual, alosexual and demisexual is that:

• asexuals : who have no interest in sex;
• gay men : they can be sexually attracted to anyone else;
• demisexuals: Although they are more often confused with asexuals, they can actually feel sexually attracted to someone (of the same or opposite sex), but before this sexual attraction a very strong sentimental connection is needed.

This is because, for a demisexual, connection is the most important thing. So, in some cases, he may appear not to be attracted to anyone Therefore, there can be demisexuals who are heterosexual, homosexuals, bisexuals, and even asexuals.

The factor that allows us to understand demisexuality, after all, is that everything depends on this almost transcendent bond of feeling and psychic connection with the partner. Being that it is this connection what gives demisexuals pleasure Sex usually comes later and is not the most important aspect of the relationship.

Characteristics of a demisexual person

After reading about demisexuality, we may think that it is a choice. However, experts consider that it is not, comparing this case with what happens with hetero and homosexual people. In other words, demisexuality is a sexual orientation. Moreover, we should not confuse it with sapiosexuality. In the latter case, people are attracted to those who are cultured or intelligent.

Knowledge

The person demisexual This must occur before the sexual relationship is established, as we said. However, whether the other is intellectual or not, whether he or she is within the standard of beauty or not, doesn't matter.

In this case, it does not matter for demisexual What really provokes the attraction in these people is the bond. She may find someone beautiful, but she won't feel attracted just for that, you know?

Involvement

What really matters is the emotional involvement and not necessarily that this person is looking for a new relationship. Many times they are just living their own life and end up feeling connected or not with someone. In the next topics we will talk a bit more about this issue from a social perspective.

Differences

Demisexual is characterized by not being attracted to just anyone. This ends up causing strangeness, for example, in a group of friends. To illustrate, imagine a group of teenage friends who have an idol in common. Many in this group may be attracted to this idol. However, the demisexual can like the famous, but without being attracted to him.

Another important point is that, no group is perfectly homogeneous. Therefore, not every person demisexual is equal to another that also is. After all, within the demisexual groups, there are those who feel physical attraction and those who don't at all, those who enjoy masturbation, for example, and those who don't. The demisexuals are the ones who feel physical attraction and the ones who don't at all.

Connection

Considering what we have said, the one thing that characterizes demise demisexuals is: they can only feel sexually attracted to someone with whom they have an emotional connection. Some of them don't even find it interesting to kiss someone random at the club.

Finally, demisexuality is not an anomaly or a disease. It is a sexual orientation and should be respected. Regardless of whether it is our case or not, we need to understand that the other is who he or she is, and respect him or her for being that way.

Demisexuality from a social perspective

As we said in the beginning, we are in a time when we have more sexual freedom, so there is more talk about sex and also more sex. However, how does the person who is not sexually attracted to anyone feel at that moment? Or how is he perceived in his social circles?

I want information to enroll in the Psychoanalysis Course .

As in the example we used above, a person may feel strange about not feeling anything for an idol. They may even be harassed for it, especially since not many people talk about it. So it is not hard to imagine that this person is treated or feels like an alien.

On this point, many relate the demisexuality Therefore, it is important to think about the theme under some questions.

Is it a prudish and macho question?

Many people may relate demisexuality to moral and purity issues, but it is not. After all, it is one thing not to relate physically to people with whom you don't have a connection. It is another thing not to relate for moral or religious reasons. In other words, not to relate sexually to someone because it is "sin".

In demisexuality the person does not have intimate relationships because he or she does not feel like it. In addition, the person demisexual does not care about the sexual activity of the other, unlike the moralistic person.

Taboo?

Besides, we know how the sexual issue has always been a repression for women. On the contrary, men have always been encouraged to have sex, which was, and still is today, a guarantee of being something strong and virile.

In this sense, homosexuality is considered a danger and a taboo. And no matter how much things have improved, it is impossible not to consider that beliefs like these constitute our culture.

However, all these points are not associated with what directs the demisexual. They do not have sex with whom they have no emotional connection.

Psychological issues x sexual orientation

Psychological issues, such as trauma or sexual abuse, can repress a person, so the person may repel anything that alludes to sexual relations. For example, a child who has been abused may be afraid to have any sexual relations. Furthermore, we must consider that the trauma is not conscious, but produces behaviors nevertheless.

From this, it is important to question whether demisexual It is not a traumatized person. It is a legitimate doubt the will to better understand one's own behavior. Thus, we cannot put these questions in the same light.

Final comments on the demisexual individual

As we have seen, the demisexual For this reason, an individual who fits into this group, just like anyone else, deserves respect. Finally, if you are interested in learning more about issues involving sexual orientation, take a look at our 100% online course on Psychoanalysis.Enroll now!