Generally, the one who presents the Peter Pan Syndrome Fear of growing up and of taking responsibility are some of them! In this text you will learn a little more about it and how to treat it!

The literature associates the Peter Pan syndrome with the fear of commitment in some individuals who seem to refuse to enter adulthood for good. Thus, the Peter Pan Complex manifests itself in the desire not to want to grow up, that is, to continue behaving as a child.

Peter Pan syndrome seems to affect mainly males, and usually this disorder manifests itself between the ages of 20-25.

Although this age range is common, we can think of lower ages (late teens) or even more adult ages. Thus, it makes sense to associate the disorder with a male character. While it is possible to see a normal development of the intellect, there seems to be a blockage of emotional maturation.

More important than the name, is to understand the Peter Pan syndrome as a refusal to grow up. It is a symptom or manifestation, it can have different causes. It can be:

• an ego defense mechanism : the ego has an unconscious part and protects the subject through rationalizations, projections, denials, etc., to avoid displeasure;
• an difficulty in social integration that makes the subject isolate himself in an infantilized universe that seems more protective (the causes for this can be excessive shyness, having been bullied, etc.);
• an childhood event as a trauma;
• a existence of an overprotective mother, to whom the adult is still emotionally attached;
• among other causes.

And this behavior can occur with both men and women, although in women it is called Tinkerbell syndrome The way it is operationalized is similar in men and women, although some authors prefer to differentiate (either out of preciousness or to show that the causes are different).

What does the idea of a syndrome mean?

In the case of Peter Pan Syndrome, there may be an ego defense mechanism, idealizing childhood as a happy or protected age, which brings about in the young adult a fear of "growing up". This is an example of one of the possible reasons for this fear of growing up, this fear of having an "independent" life.

After all, although the manifestation of Peter Pan syndrome is common ( fear of taking responsibility for their adult life ), the causes for this syndrome can be very different.

There is no way to say that all syndromes function equally, there are many syndromes. Each author may designate a psychic manifestation as a syndrome, another author may disagree with the designation.

Usually people use the word " syndrome "The syndrome would be a visible starting point to search for some non-apparent cause.

About ego defense, think what is ego as being an elaboration, different from the drive or libido that moves the id.

The ego does:

• an conscious part as when we know what we are thinking about now, about your concentration when reading this article, and
• another unconscious part, that is, the subject taking certain attitudes or thoughts kind of "unknowingly", on "autopilot", things that help him to avoid a displeasure.

Being an adult obviously can have a dimension of displeasure: the work, the responsibilities to other people and to oneself. It's challenging.

At Peter Pan syndrome The subject may be focusing on the unpleasantness of adulthood and, as a counterpoint, finding a more idyllic childhood setting, to which he or she is unconsciously attached.

Perhaps there is also a narcissistic dimension to the Peter Pan syndrome. Not wanting to grow up is also not wanting to take risks, not wanting to learn. narcissism means an ego that is closed in on itself and thinks it is self-sufficient preventing situations that could strengthen the ego in a "healthier" way.

In clinical practice, the important thing is the analyzed or the analyzed seeing that you are protecting yourself too much from the outside world by holding on to behaviors from an earlier age And then, the course of free association in therapy can indicate possible reasons in the subject's history or possible forms of unconscious mental procedures that may lead to this.

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Where does Peter Pan syndrome come from?

The name "Peter Pan syndrome" was given to the problem by the American psychoanalyst Daniel Urban Kiley, who wrote a book with this title, in which he explains the problem better.

He chose the name in reference to the literary character created by JM Barrie - a boy who refused to grow up. The story you probably already know was popularized by Walt Disney through children's movies.

Although the medical profession does not consider the problem to be a clinical pathology, it is a behavioral disorder.

Behavior

Whether they are 25, 45 or 65, whether they are single or in a relationship, The fear of commitment is the symptom that most characterizes immature men.

They usually prefer to retreat into an imaginary world surrounded by toys and dolls. There are also those who maintain an obsession with video games and cartoons, which would not be a problem if they also did not neglect their responsibilities.

In fact, it is difficult for these men to accept the reality of adulthood in several different instances. This difficulty indicates how great your discomfort and anxiety about growing is. Consequently, persistence in childish behavior in general and in the relationships that these people have can lead to depression.

The most cited example is the singer Michael Jackson, who had characteristics of someone suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome. One such indication comes from the fact that the singer built a private theme park on his own farm, called Neverland. In case you don't know, this is the same name as the imaginary country in the Peter Pan story.

Symptoms of Peter Pan syndrome

The symptoms of Peter Pan syndrome or complex are numerous, but Dan Kiley presents seven main ones in his book "The Peter Pan Syndrome: The Men Who Refused to Grow Up" published in 1983.

Commitment Phobia

One of the most telling symptoms of the development of this syndrome is commitment phobia, but this is not the only one.

Emotional paralysis

It is the inability to express the emotions they feel without knowing how to define them, or expressing them disproportionately through nervous laughter, anger, hysteria.

Poor Time Management

Thinking themselves young, people who suffer from this syndrome put things off until later, to the point where they only act in case of an emergency and are not aware of death. Later on, men like this can become hyperactive in order to make up for lost time procrastinating.

Superficial and brief relationships

This difficulty in deepening relationships, also known as social powerlessness, occurs despite the fear of loneliness and the need for lasting bonds .

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Some other characteristics in people with the syndrome are:

• the inability to recognize and assume their responsibilities. Putting the blame on someone else is a systematic thing;
• a difficulty in assuming long-lasting affective relationships because it involves taking responsibility for maintaining one's own life and the life of other person(s);
• o feeling of anger towards the mother Realizing that they are making the mother suffer, they develop a sense of guilt as a consequence;
• o desire to be close to the father - until reaching the stage of idolatry of the father figure - always in counterpoint with the constant need for approval and love;
• some types of sexual problems They are not very interested in sexuality, and sexual experiences usually occur later in life.

Finally, men like this may also adopt an attitude to better camouflage their immaturity and their fear of being rejected. In this way, they tend to think that their partner must love them with unconditional motherly love.

However, a Peter Pan does not have to present all these symptoms at the same time. There are different degrees to consider, and it is often difficult to identify which one the person fits into.

The Peter Pan Syndrome

Being affected by this disorder does not prevent these adults with childish behavior from leading a life that seems "normal" . Peter Pan are sociable beings because they easily surround themselves with friends thanks to their humor and the comical or good friend image they naturally reflect.

In this way, imitating those around them, they can also evolve in a "traditional" family environment. That is, they can have a job, children, be married, etc. However, these relationships and achievements can be experienced simply as a mimicry and not out of genuine desire. Leading a "double life" in some way, people like this have more difficulty appreciating the worldadult and the environment in which they are.

Also, not being in tune with their daily lives, they only really feel at ease in their bubble. When they isolate themselves, the gap between reality and their imagination widens. In a more advanced degree of the syndrome, these individuals will shy away from all engagement with other people and will not accept any responsibility.

How to explain the development of this syndrome and what are its causes?

The person who suffers from this behavior takes refuge in an imaginary world to escape adult responsibilities. They are men who don't want to grow up.

However, this desire not to grow up and the desire to prolong childhood are not symptoms without cause. They can be explained by the absence of a stage of life that is fundamental to the development and balance of every human being.

In fact, instead of going through the various psychological and physiological stages that normally occur between childhood and adulthood, people with Peter Pan syndrome do not seem to go through adolescence.

The explanation for this jump between one stage and another is due to emotional traumas suffered during childhood. Some frequently observed problems are:

• lack of love from the family,
• a home shared by relatives with some kind of addiction,
• a family in which one of the adolescent's guardians is absent,
• the death of a loved one.

Especially in the case of individuals under the responsibility of someone who is addicted or absent, the child may have to take over certain household chores. An example of this is older children learning to take care of their younger siblings, then taking over the responsibility of the other.

Final Thoughts on the Peter Pan Syndrome

Curing Peter Pan syndrome is possible, but denying the problem is often a stumbling block to treatment. Therefore, it is necessary for the sick person to recognize his or her own behavioral disorder. Then it will be possible to treat the person with psychotherapy.

With the will to change one's life, it is easier to find the causes of this disorder. Consequently, the treatment manager is able to find ways to work on the root of the problem.

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