Narcissist! You may have heard this word at some point in your life! It is very common to accuse people using this term or even to accuse yourself.

But what does it really mean? So, what is a narcissist?

According to a dictionary explanation, a narcissist is someone who:

• tends to be completely self-centered,
• usually turns to its own image,
• nurtures excessive love for himself.

Narcissist is someone who is obsessed with himself, who displays excessive admiration and self-love.

These are the simplest and most direct explanations on the subject. However, we will need to go beyond them!

Etymology or origin of the term

It comes from the Latin "Narcissus" and the Greek "Narkissos", referring to the mythological figure Narcissus.

The word "narcissist" appeared in psychoanalysis in 1911 by the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Otto Rank.

The word comes from Narcissus in Greek mythology. Among the many variations of the tale, all focus on the point about the handsome Narcissus, an attractive boy who is remarkable for his innate beauty, yet so snobbish and arrogant because of his physical qualities.

Disdaining all the suitors for considering them inferior, Narcissus receives a punishment from the gods, so when he sees his reflection in the river, he immediately falls in love with his image and admires it until he dies!

This is a good story to exemplify vanity, insensitivity and individualism to extremes, to the point of self-destruction.

For the ancient Greeks, this was just a story about the drama of individuality. However, this tale demonstrates the full negative connotation of this psychological picture.

Characteristics of the narcissist

The narcissist overestimates himself and exaggerates his own achievements, and focuses so much on himself that he puts himself on an unrealistic level.

This overestimation of one's own value and accomplishments and desire for external admiration often entails an underestimation of others. Thus, it also entails the desire to only relate to special people like him/her and to demean ordinary people!

Narcissists expect to be admired for their intelligence or beauty, as well as having prestige and power, etc.

However, in today's world, with humility valued, arrogant and presumptuous people taking credit for things not accomplished by themselves only attract irritation and drive others away.

With such pride and lack of empathy for others, one imagines that a narcissist is someone with a lot of self-love, almost unable to see his own faults. Almost!

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What is a narcissist inside?

In fact, recent research indicates that the typical narcissist has no self-love, so he actually harbors hatred for himself!

Furthermore, the remarkable thing about this picture is that when someone is always posting selfies on the networks, commenting on various subjects in order to be noticed, they expect praise and social gratification. However, this is a sign of low self-esteem and a constant need for external validation!

One detail: narcissism disorder should not be confused with healthy self-esteem. Thus, a self-satisfied person can be humble and without the need to show off. The narcissist, on the other hand, is selfish, conceited, and ignores the feelings and needs of others.

California State University Los Angeles psychologist Ramani Durvasula says:

"Narcissistic individuals are actually hamstrung by insecurity and shame, and their whole life is an attempt to regulate their image. Narcissism has never been about self-love - it's almost entirely about self-loathing."

Social Life

In general, a person is unhappy when he doesn't get the admiration he needs from others. Thus, he is disappointed with his own life.

This extrapolates to all aspects of work, social and emotional life. However, the individual fails to realize how his behavior negatively affects his relationships! Consequently, people are bothered by the narcissist, and he is dissatisfied with his life, work, etc.

An important fact is to see that there seem to be two types of narcissists! One is the "vulnerable" narcissist, with the profile closest to the one we have described so far. This is an individual with apparently high self-esteem, but with deep insecurities to cover up.

On the other hand, the "Grandiose" seems to have a really inflated ego. In addition, they have a desire for power and a complete lack of empathy. According to a New York University study, the Grandiose profile fits more like a psychopathy than narcissism, due to their desire for domination.

That said, what leads a person to become a narcissist?

There are many causative factors for narcissistic personality, divided into genetic and environmental causes.

In the brains of narcissists, there was revealed to be less gray matter in the part related to empathy, emotional regulation and cognitive functioning.

Furthermore, as for the family environment, some different elements trigger these characteristics in a person:

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• learn manipulative behavior from their parents,
• Child abuse or bullying, which can lead to ego overcompensation,
• receiving too much praise from family and friends in an intense and unjustified manner. This can give a child an unrealistic impression of life.

Today's world, with its great promotion of personal image and advertising, ends up inadvertently encouraging this type of personality.

Synonyms and antonyms of the term

Some synonyms for narcissist or words with similar meanings are:

• egocentric,
• selfish,
• self-centered,
• smug,
• vain,
• convinced,
• proud.

The antonyms (opposite sense), on the other hand, are:

• altruist,
• generous,
• empathetic,
• modest,
• compassionate,
• solidarity.

You have to see in which context of your reading these synonyms or antonyms best apply.

See also some differences from other words in the same semantic field. These are similar items, but may have subtle differences.

• Narcissistic x egocentric The narcissist loves himself, while the egocentric prioritizes his own interests.
• Narcissist x vain : The vain person values appearance, while the narcissist loves himself comprehensively.
• Narcissist x Proud : The proud one displays satisfaction for what he has achieved, while the narcissist admires himself excessively.
• Narcissistic vs. self-confident The self-confident is confident in his abilities and this can be positive, whereas the narcissist admires himself exaggeratedly.

It is important to note that these spellings are wrong : narsisist, narcissistic, narcissistic, narcissistic.

Phrases and artwork about narcissists

Examples of some sentences that we have created for you to understand the usage of the word:

• The narcissist constantly seeks praise.
• He delighted in his reflection, like a narcissist.
• Avoid feeding his narcissistic behavior.
• Your narcissistic attitude damages relationships.
• Focusing on others can reduce narcissistic tendencies.

Some artistic works reflect on the theme of narcissism. Let's highlight a few:

• Movie " The Wolf of Wall Street " (2013): portrays the story of Jordan Belfort, a stock broker whose narcissism and greed lead him to self-destruction.
• Book " Lolita " (1955), by Vladimir Nabokov: the book features Humbert Humbert, a narcissistic and manipulative man who develops an obsession with a young girl named Lolita.
• Music " You're So Vain " (1972), by Carly Simon: it describes a narcissistic lover, who believes that everything revolves around him and his appearance.
• Movie " Black Swan " (2010): explores the narcissism and obsessive pursuit of perfection of a ballerina, who succumbs to paranoia and hallucinations.
• Book " American Psycho " (1991), by Bret Easton Ellis: chronicles the life of Patrick Bateman, a narcissistic, sociopathic man who hides his true psychopathic nature under a facade of success and wealth.

What signs identify a narcissist?

The following descriptions do not necessarily go together; moreover, many people do not even notice them for a long time. However, these are basic characteristics about this personality disorder:

• This person often thinks too highly, to the point of being unrealistic;
• He expects not to be questioned in his decisions and actions;
• They are envious of others and believe they are envied by those around them;
• He considers himself very good, but takes advantage of others to get what he wants;
• He is easily offended and feels humiliated when faced with criticism;
• He is manipulative in the extreme.

The more exacerbated and antisocial traits we report here such as lack of remorse and cruelty are more associated with the "grandiose" profile for their specific condition. On the other hand, psychopathy usually has traits of narcissism. However, narcissists are not necessarily psychopaths!

This text does not seek to denigrate those who show traits of this type Self-worth is sought after by most people, it only becomes a problem when it is an obsessive personality trait.

Vicious circle

When the search for recognition is too much, even problematic, it has the opposite effect: it alienates people close to them and makes them dislike the narcissist. This can create a self-destructive spiral in the person.

Fearful of the pain of rejection, the narcissist upgrades himself seeking relief. However, he annoys others with his attitudes and ends up going back to the beginning of the cycle.

According to Durvasula, the narcissist needs to show himself in a way, so he acts badly, gets rejected, and the vicious circle starts all over again!

Conclusion: what is narcissistic and what to do about it?

The narcissist prioritizes his own image and admiration. It is important to understand what the ego is for psychoanalysis.

It is crucial to differentiate:

• A strengthened ego favors self-esteem and knowledge about one's own desires,
• but a inflated ego makes the person close in on himself, drowning in his self-image, like the myth of Narcissus.

Recognizing narcissism helps identify harmful behaviors and promote healthier relationships.

In general, the narcissist doesn't perceive himself to be the problem. Therefore, he attributes his responsibility to others.

Any kind of psychological issue needs self-motivation to be dealt with effectively. Moreover, narcissism can be particularly resistant to change. Thus, effective psychotherapy takes into account realistic expectations relying on the patient's understanding.

The person first needs to be made aware of their condition and that progress will be slow. In addition, they will need to accept responsibility for their actions and learn to relate to each other in a more appropriate way.

She will learn to understand and regulate her feelings, to accept her faults and tolerate criticism from others. Therefore, she will also learn to maintain realistic expectations!

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