Seeing scenes of jealousy between siblings is common, after all, who hasn't thought that the parents loved the other child more? Jealousy happens no matter how many siblings there are, but have you ever wondered how the sibling who is neither the oldest nor the youngest feels? The one who has become the middle child? This child may be going through middle child syndrome .

However, what is this syndrome really? That is what we are going to talk about in this article. We will also talk about possible causes, characteristics, consequences, and how to avoid it in the family environment.

Let's go?

What is Middle Child Syndrome

Being a father, being a mother

To begin with, it is necessary to explain that nobody is born with an instruction manual. In this way, no mother or father knows how to be a mother or father from the beginning. The family relationship is built over time and it is necessary to break with the idea that the treatment of the incoming child will be the same as the previous child.

Considering the above, the he first child always brings to mothers and fathers the uncertainty of what to do. When the second child comes, not only is he different, but also the parents' attention needs to be divided. At this time jealousy can begin to arise. After all, the first child loses the full attention he had.

All this can be aggravated when the third child arrives. At this time, besides jealousy, there can be a feeling of insignificance on the part of the elders. After all, the youngest child requires more care. However, when it comes to the middle child, this feeling can take on more acute contours.

Being the eldest son, being the youngest son, being the middle son

Feeling insignificant is justified in that the middle child does not need as much care as the younger one and is not accomplishing as much as the older one After all, the older sibling is in school getting good or bad grades, while the younger one needs care whether he is a baby or not. In this context, the middle child may feel that he is unimportant and that, therefore, nobody cares about him.

All this feeling characterizes middle child syndrome .

When it comes to child development, it must be said that it is during childhood that children are developing their personality and values. At this time, everything is more intense because children are more sensitive to their surroundings. In this way, the syndrome is like a non-rational reaction of a developing person.

Furthermore, just as we cannot blame the children, we cannot blame the parents. This needs to be worked on when identified, but not with a feeling of guilt With this in mind, in the following topics we will talk about the characteristics and how to avoid them.

Characteristics of Middle Child Syndrome

Before we talk about the characteristics of the syndrome, we need to say that Not every middle child develops it.

However, among those who develop the syndrome, we see characteristics such as:

Competition for attention

As we said, trying to get attention from parents is normal. middle child syndrome can invent situations in order to be seen. Examples include faking an illness and fighting with colleagues or siblings.

Low self-esteem

In that case, the child feels inferior to his or her siblings and eventually develops low self-esteem. This is because she feels that she doesn't get attention, doesn't do as good things, or doesn't deserve as much care.

Discomfort when receiving attention

The middle child feels forgotten for so long that when he receives attention, he feels uncomfortable. Therefore, you end up trying to dodge or remain "invisible".

Isolation from the family

On many occasions, the middle child feels like an outsider in the family. As we said, he feels bad even for being remembered. Consequently, this individual seeks ways to protect himself, and one of these ways is precisely the previously unwanted isolation. He doesn't want to get in the way or feel bad, so he tries to be distant.

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Possible Causes

As we said in the beginning, parents don't know how to be parents before they are being parents. In this way, the cause of middle child syndrome is not something that we can point to as a parental error. But invariably it arises from the feeling of belittlement that the middle child feels.

More than pointing fingers, it is necessary to guide the children so that the syndrome does not develop Therefore, it is important to always be aware of the behavior of your children and the relationship between them. middle child syndrome .

In any case, it is important to understand that no family is immune from this happening.

Impacts of middle child syndrome on adult life

A child who suffered from middle child syndrome As an adult, he becomes someone isolated. After all, he reflects in the world the feeling he experienced with his parents. In this way, he expects nothing from people: neither attention, nor help, nor any recognition.

Consequently, this adult becomes selfish, extremely independent, insecure, and has difficulty relating to others. Moreover, the low self-esteem persists.

How to avoid and overcome middle child syndrome

No parent rationally wants their child to develop the middle child syndrome From this point on, it is important to pay attention to some attitudes that can be avoided. With that in mind, we have listed some of them here.

Avoid comparisons

We are all different from each other. We are complex beings and have different qualities and defects. Consequently, comparison can bring deep scars, because the person will never feel sufficient in relation to the standard set by the parents. Therefore, it is very important not to compare children.

Value the individuality of each one

Each child has a unique personality and characteristics. Remember to value each one, as this will reflect in the development of their self-esteem.

Practicing listening

In the midst of the busy routine, we end up thinking that children have nothing to add. However, stop to listen to what your children have to say. In this way you will establish a dialogue with your children, Your middle child will know that he or she has a voice and can talk to you.

Be understanding and patient

As we said above, the middle child may try to get attention in not so good ways. It is necessary for parents to understand why these attitudes have started and how to work through such issues. Acting with aggressive authority at this time will only push the child further away and hurt him.

Final Thoughts on Middle Child Syndrome

Now that we have listed how to prevent the problem from arising, we need to think about the case where the middle child syndrome is already a reality.

To do this, we must point out that the younger the child, the more explicit are the signs of suffering As you get older and mature, the feelings may subside, but in cases where the feelings persist and are detrimental to your adult life, you need to seek help.

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Psychoanalysts, in this context, can help to understand their sufferings and the causes of those who suffer from the problem. Our mind is complex and we need help.

So, if you are interested in learning more about middle child syndrome In it, you will learn about this and other syndromes, as well as deepen your knowledge of psychoanalysis. The training is 100% online and has implications for both your personal and professional life. Check it out!