A The phobia of falling in love, or fear of love, is known as philophobia. We are not talking here about the fear of getting involved, after a love disappointment, for example, but an intense and irrational fear, where the person's life is damaged by this pathological fear of relationships.

The fear is so intense of having a love relationship, that just thinking about this hypothesis makes the person develop symptoms such as shortness of breath and an increase in heart rate. This becomes paralyzing, even in everyday situations, as the person starts to circumvent situations to avoid meeting someone and falling in love.

For most people love is one of the main reasons to be happy, but for the person who suffers from this phobia, only the thought of being able to love is terrifying.

What is Philophobia?

In short, philophobia is the irrational and intense fear of falling in love or loving someone. This condition negatively affects the person's love relationships, which, if they happen, are unlikely to be healthy. Those who suffer from this phobia tend to live in isolation, because they don't even give themselves the opportunity to get to know someone.

At any hint of feelings of love and passion, the phobic cannot even approach someone The fear is irrational and so intense that the phobic acquires his defense mechanisms to avoid any kind of contact with people who, from his point of view, can create some kind of affection.

The word philophobia comes from the Greek terms filos + phobia which means "love" and "fear", respectively.

Symptoms of Philophobia

The symptoms vary from person to person, triggered when the phobic is close to someone, or even when thinking about the person, who might arouse any feeling of love or passion. And this is disproportionate, irrational and involuntary where the person reacts as if his or her life were in danger from the phobic stimulus.

First of all, one should not confuse philosophobia with social anxiety disorder, which, although they can coexist, are different situations. Philosophobia is linked to affective ties, related to passion and love, while social anxiety disorder is related to intense fear of social situations in general.

Who suffers from philophobia physical and emotional symptoms that vary depending on the person and the severity of the phobia. They usually arise when the philophobe approaches or thinks about someone who might arouse some feeling of love or passion, which he/she often creates only in his/her mind. Among the main symptoms are :

• shortness of breath;
• increased heart rate;
• panic attack;
• nausea;
• anguish;
• restlessness;
• involuntary crying;
• tremors;
• gastrointestinal problems.

The person has such an intense fear of falling in love that he/she cannot expose his/her feelings to anyone. Some even manage to have relationships, but cannot maintain them. They usually put their well-being before the desired love of the other person. This fact constantly brings them anguish and anxiety.

Also, depending on the person, can present extreme behaviors such as aggressiveness and possession Or, on the contrary, to withdraw even from loved ones, causing a total detachment from any kind of relationship.

Difference between the fear of liking someone and the fear of being disappointed in love

The fear of being disappointed in love is common to many people, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It is normal to feel insecure, to create expectations, and to be afraid that the feeling is not reciprocated. However, this fear does not prevent you from continuing the relationship, it does not paralyze you.

On the contrary, those who suffer from philophobia The phobic has a limiting fear where any relationship, normal and affectionate, causes him suffering and prevents it from being perpetuated. As a result, the phobic has such intense worries that trigger physical and emotional symptoms, which prevent him from affectionately bonding with the other.

Main causes of phobia of falling in love

The phobia of falling in love happens, above all, because of the fear of rejection or separation, causing the person to avoid any type of relationship. For this person, love means losing control over their emotions, which generates a terrifying fear, causing them to avoid it at any cost. This can originate from several causes, which we will list the main ones.

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Experienced traumas

Among the causes most common reasons for the development of philophobia are childhood traumas This is, for example, a dysfunctional parental marriage, which triggered this disease in his adult phase. Thus, he ended up associating love relationships with suffering, causing an aversion to any emotional bond.

In addition, the causes of the phobia can also occur from puberty, in adolescence, where the hormones lead to the search for love relationships. And, if they are rejected and disappointed, they end up developing a phobia of falling in love again.

Even more, among the traumas that cause this phobia are the experiences of previous relationships, which were abusive and resulted in divorce. This type of cause happens in adulthood, after the age of 40, by the person who has already suffered many love disillusions and can no longer relate.

Social and cultural issues

Often this phobia develops for cultural or religious reasons, such as when the person is promised to an arranged marriage and thus is afraid of falling in love with someone different.

There are some societies that have a distorted view about love relationships, under a negative aspect, such as religious beliefs that indicate it as perversion.

Depression

Mainly because of the low self-esteem of many people who suffer from depression, they end up lacking confidence in being able to have a loving relationship. This happens, for example:

• for traumas experienced;
• genetic issues;
• changes in brain functions.

Is there a cure for philophobia?

People often end up living with the disease and becoming unhappy, either because they are unaware of their condition or even because they are ashamed to expose their fears. But know that if you are suffering from the symptoms presented here, you will be able to overcome and heal yourself by seeking appropriate treatment .

The main treatments for philophobia With specific techniques, the therapist will focus on your symptoms, searching for the causes that triggered the phobia. In more severe cases, it may be necessary to prescribe psychiatric drugs, such as antidepressants and anxiolytics.

In addition, the help of people close to them is essential, because those who suffer from this phobia have unconscious behaviors that, if observed by people close to them, they will have the support to seek professional help. Or, even, with affection and patience, the phobic can receive advice that, gradually, can help them to open up to new relationships.

Therefore, if you have reached the end of this article, you are probably interested in the study of the human mind. . Among the course's teachings, you will understand more about the human psyche and how phobias develop, from a psychoanalytic perspective.

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