What is Lack of Empathy? A lot is said about empathy, sometimes the concept is limited to "putting yourself in the other person's shoes", but exercising empathy goes far beyond that, if I just put myself in the other person's shoes, but with my values, my point of view, I will be analyzing the situation from my perspective.

Table of Contents

• The concept and what is lack of empathy
  • What is lack of empathy and why is it so difficult to exercise empathy?
• How does lack of empathy affect our relationships?
• What is lack of empathy and tips for developing it
  • Work on your self-knowledge
  • Practice generosity
  • Welcome with affection
  • Work on emotional balance
  • Accept the differences

The concept and what is lack of empathy

To be empathic I need to put myself in the other person's shoes by feeling and thinking as they do, so that I can really understand their feelings, choices, and emotions.

What is lack of empathy and why is it so difficult to exercise empathy?

In order to really be empathetic, we often have to come down from our "pedestal", leave our egocentrism aside, so that we can really perceive the other person. Some situations can interfere with the development of this ability. Individuals who have received little hospitality throughout their lives or have been the target of much criticism may have difficulty demonstrating empathy in their relationships.

Selfishness also hinders the empathic gaze, individuals who are very self-centered, who want to be heard, but don't dedicate time and attention to other people, who only consider their own needs and interests, will hardly be able to turn their gaze to the feelings of the other, because only their own needs matter.

People who are not very empathic often have difficulties in their relationships, establishing superficial bonds in order not to have to deal with the challenges present in relationships. Excessive judgment is also a characteristic of people with poor empathy, people who have great difficulty in accepting points of view different from their own.

How does lack of empathy affect our relationships?

In both our personal and professional relationships it is very important to develop empathy.

We are interacting all the time with people from different backgrounds, cultures, experiences, and points of view, and to cultivate healthier relationships we need to open up to the other person, understand what makes them think this way or that way, question our absolute truths, without feeling offended or contradicted.

In addition, we cannot be indifferent to the feelings and pain of others, we don't have the power to take away the suffering of others, but surely our compassion and tolerance will provide the necessary welcome for others to go through adversity with much more tranquility.

What is lack of empathy and tips for developing it

Work on your self-knowledge

This means that you first need to be able to recognize your feelings and emotions so that you can then turn your gaze to the other person, analyze your strengths and what you need to improve. Practices such as meditation and psychotherapy sessions can help in the development of self-knowledge. Practice active listening!

Many times we don't listen, we just wait our turn to speak, be attentive to what the other has to say without formulating a mental response while the other speaks, master your anxiety, understand that the greater your understanding of what the other is saying, the easier it will be to develop effective communication.

Show interest in the other person, ask questions, exchange ideas, make a real connection.

Practice generosity

Everyday do something for someone without expecting anything in return, small gestures like holding the elevator door for the other already makes us look outwards and not just at ourselves. Keep the mint open!

Talk to people who think differently from you and exercise the practice of non-judgment, don't always want to be right, allow yourself to change your mind, analyze the same situation from several angles, this way you exercise your brain to seek new ways of thinking, not being restricted to what is already known and therefore more comfortable.

Welcome with affection

When talking to someone who is going through a difficult time, have an understanding look, a touch on the hands or a hug can speak more than many words.

Unless you are asked, don't guess or get all worked up about it, often the other person just wants to talk without being judged or pressured to take action.

Work on emotional balance

Keep your emotions in check, in an argument if you notice that you are getting out of control, take a deep breath and pause.

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Don't see the situation as if an opponent is challenging you, think about it calmly, avoid taking it personally, put the situation in perspective and evaluate all scenarios, don't be afraid to change your mind if you wish.

Accept the differences

Understand that each human being is unique, even if we have affinities with some people no one is the same as anyone else, accept and respect the differences, it is these differences that enrich our relationships, increase our reasoning capacity making us able to seek solutions to the most varied challenges.

And you, how do you exercise empathy in your relationships?

This article was written by Vera Rocha, coach, works in the area of People Management. Contact: [email protected]