You are thinking about how to break up with someone Certainly making this decision was not easy. Less easy than that is communicating to a person who has been part of your life your desire to go your separate ways.

In case you are in need of guidance to make this moment a less traumatic experience than it appears to be, be sure to check out this reading to the end, because we have selected 13 extremely useful tips that are sure to help you!

Can psychology help you figure out how to end a relationship?

Psychology is a field of science whose objects of study are the human body and the human mind. human behavior and how humans interact with the physical environment and social contexts .

In this context, we can seek a psychologist both to better cope with a mental disorder and to process the experience of bereavement, pregnancy, and marriage, just to name a few examples.

Since psychology offers people tools to deal with various aspects of life, it can also contribute to your need to understand how to end a relationship in the most respectful way with the other person and coherent with yourself .

3 Psychology tips for when you're having second thoughts about breaking up

Now that you know that psychology has teachings and reflections on how to deal with relationships and the need to put an end to them, check out the tips we have prepared to help you.

We begin our selection of guidelines by talking directly to doubting people So, if you are still not sure that breaking up is the right thing to do:

1 - Embrace your feelings of doubt

One of the most valuable lessons you will learn from a psychologist concerns accepting your feelings.

We are used to processing what we feel by invalidating our reactions. In this way, if we cry, we are exaggerated; if we don't shed a tear, we are indifferent; if in doubt, our feelings are not true.

Framing human feelings on a scale with only two values, right and wrong, good or bad, does no good.

Once we learn how to validate our feelings so that they provide information about who we are is a very interesting strategy of self-knowledge.

2 - Evaluate if the relationship has no chance of changing

For you who want to know how to break up a relationship, perhaps the decision to break up is not so firm yet. Moreover, your desire to end the relationship may have to do with a one-time problem.

If so, it is important to evaluate how the couple's communication is going By communicating that this issue is important to you, your partner can change for the good of the relationship.

It is not interesting to end without giving the other the chance to at least try something So if the relationship has room for communicating expectations of change, it is good to test this possibility before ending.

3 - Talk about your thoughts with people you trust

You don't have to process all your feelings of doubt alone. It is worth choosing impartial and trustworthy people to help you understand what you are feeling and what you want for your future.

Generally speaking, when relationships are healthy, relatives and friends are excellent listeners and have advice that you can listen to.

I want information to enroll in the Psychoanalysis Course .

Also read: Materials for the online psychoanalysis course

In the absence of these people, A psychologist or psychoanalyst can help you search within yourself for the answers to your questions.

3 tips for you to put into practice when you decide to end a relationship

If you have already decided to end your relationship, here are more tips that will help you prepare for the time to say "goodbye". Check them out!

4 - Develop an action plan

Anyone who wants to know how to break up is looking for a way to do it, right? We won't teach you here a detailed step-by-step with what you should say because we don't know the person you are going to break up with.

However, we do not recommend that you do something generic It's not you, it's me" when it can hurt a lot more.

Getting to know the person you are going to break up with, think carefully about the words you are going to say This is how the moment gets the sensitivity and respect it deserves.

5 - Stop making promises

If you already know that you are going to end the relationship, don't make promises or plans about traveling together, gifts, and schedules that you already know will not work out.

Precisely to avoid the strangeness of the negative regarding plans together, it matters that you don't take too long to talk and say what must be said.

6 - Be prepared to go through discomfort and painful moments

Still talking about the delay in breaking up, one of the most important tips we can give on how to break up is: be prepared to suffer.

Psychology does not pretend that bad feelings do not exist or that suffering is an illusion. On the contrary, accepting that pain and suffering are part of human existence is necessary in order to be able to deal with the feelings.

When you say you want to break up, most likely the person will suffer. You will suffer too, especially if the feeling involved in the relationship is genuine. Tears will roll down, harsh words may come out, and probably the two of you will not speak to each other for a while.

Suffering is part of the process and it is good that you understand this.

5 tips you can use to communicate the breakup

Now that you know what to expect when it's time to end your relationship, here are some practical guidelines for dealing with this moment.

I want information to enroll in the Psychoanalysis Course .

7 - Take care of your physical integrity

We cannot ignore the fact that someone seeking to know how to break up a relationship may have some sort of concern for their physical integrity. After all, there are abusive and violent relationships and stories about violent breakups are frequent Besides, you never know how someone will react to the news.

For this reason, one of their main concerns with the time of termination is its protection. Preferably choose to talk in a public place, and don't give in to requests to end the conversation in a private space.

If having a trusted person around brings you more security, ask them to stay at a respectful distance from you. However, ask them to be really vigilant.

8 - Think about what you are going to say in advance

Above we recommended that you develop an action plan. In this guideline, we suggest that you and stablish a line of reasoning for talking .

Determine:

• the place to talk,
• how to start the conversation,
• what words to remember to say.

9 - Anticipate manipulation strategies and prepare against them

Those who want to know how to end a relationship already foresee that the other person may not accept the end of the relationship easily.

Manipulative people, for example, may not even let you speak and, To avoid the conversation not ending the way you planned, be firm.

Anticipate what may happen and prepare for each of the occasions. Here are some examples of what a person may do upon hearing the termination communication:

• cry,
• begging you not to finish,
• ask it not to be a breakup, but for you to take a break,
• walk away so as not to let you finish talking,
• insult you with verbal offenses,
• go to physical violence.

10 - Communicate clearly and firmly, but do not forget empathy

In speaking, Don't be harsh about the feelings of a person who has already been a significant part of your life. Even though you are ending the relationship, that person is still important and deserves your empathy.

Be firm against all onslaughts against the termination and let them know that your decision has already been made. However, don't forget that Firmness can be gentle, delicate and elegant.

11 - Define how your relationship will be from now on

If you know that you are not emotionally able to see that person after you are done, let them know that you won't be available for new meetings for a while. Ask her not to come to your house and also not to look for you at your work.

If you don't want to talk anymore, let them know that you will block all contact via phone and social media.

This is called "setting boundaries". Not all couples break up and remain friends. It is important to respect the timing of one's feelings.

Another important tip: don't make promises you don't know if you can keep, such as "I won't date someone for a long time". To do so is to continue to be tied to a relationship that no longer exists. So, what's past is past, and this reflection applies to both sides.

The two people who have ended a relationship are free.

2 Psychology Tips for Getting Well After a Breakup

Our final tips refer to post-breakup, that is, when you have already ended the relationship.

12 - Allow yourself to suffer, but have in mind a date to start reacting

Those who want to know how to end a relationship often feel that they will not suffer as much as the person who will be dumped. However, The end of a relationship affects everyone.

When we are together, we make plans for the future. Therefore, we design our life expecting the company of someone specific.

If the relationship ends, all those plans become meaningless for a while and the suffering is difficult. At that point, welcome your feelings, but determine a time to get back to making plans, socializing, and getting on with your life.

13 - Count on professional help to process your feelings

Finally, be sure to talk about your feelings with a professional who will help you process the end of your relationship.

As we pointed out above, a psychologist or a psychoanalyst will be of great help. With feelings well resolved and behavior consistent with oneself, life will seem good again, and so will falling in love.

Also, don't forget that a breakup is also a disappointment for you, and it can be so serious as to make you afraid to get into a relationship, it is important to resolve your issues in order to enter into a new relationship safely.

Final thoughts on the question of how to end a relationship

If you had the question "I want to break up a fling, how do I go about it?", we hope that reading this article has helped you get some ideas.

We also hope that our orientations and reflections have shown the importance of psychology and psychoanalysis in dealing with everyday issues.

Finally, if you liked this content about how to break up with someone Also, get to know our 100% online course on clinical psychoanalysis, as we have condensed our knowledge to train psychoanalysts all over Brazil and the world!