How to save my marriage: 15 attitudes

George Alvarez 18-10-2023
George Alvarez

Do you remember the moment when you were looking at each other at that altar, feeling beautiful and elegant, and swearing your oaths of love and fidelity? Probably you didn't imagine at that time how difficult a marriage could be: c ow to save my marriage? In this article, we bring you 15 attitudes to start practicing and save your relationship now!

When we live in practice what "in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, till death do us part" means, we can realize that it is not at all easy to face the difficult moments with our spouse But, although many people choose the path of separation, There are still those who decide to stay and fight for their marriage.

If you identify yourself with this second group of people, this article is for you. It is important to make it clear that crises always appear at one time or another in our lives. They arise not only in marriage, but in any other area of our existence. This is because the world is not static. Therefore, people change (even we change!) and the circumstances around us are also always changing.transformation.

15 attitudes to save your marriage

It is necessary that we exercise our ability to adapt. It is no use expecting everything to go on the way it has always been. However, this does not mean that our reality will always have to change for the worse. You can decide to learn from these changes and evolve, so you can take actions that make this new reality also pleasant and happy.

Among the attitudes to save your marriage are:

  • Talk to your partner

We're not talking about talking about bills or who's going to your child's school meeting this time, we're talking about a real conversation in which you talk about your dreams, your plans, what you like to do and what bores you.

You may feel that you don't know your spouse anymore, and it may be that you don't know him or her at all. Remember that people change? like this, invest time in good conversations. Of course, it is also necessary to discuss the behaviors that bother each other. But, you see: it's a conversation, not a fighting ring So leave the accusations aside and try to come to a consensus if you want the answer to how to save your marriage.

  • Spend time together

It seems like we are saying obvious things (and they are), but unfortunately not all couples do this. Think about your courtship: At that time, you talked a lot about what you liked to do. After that, you did these things very often. Is that still the case today?

It may be that you don't enjoy doing the same things anymore, and that's okay! So, discover new hobbies!

  • Spend time together ALONE

This tip may sound a lot like the previous one, but it is not. Couples who already have children may have problems finding time to be alone. However, these moments are essential to revive the relationship. It is very important to be with the children, but there is time for all things.

There are times when it is necessary to call the nanny or take the kids to the grandparents' house and take a moment to invest in your relationship, so you can use this time to go for a romantic walk or trip, visit places you haven't been in a while, or simply enjoy your home together.

  • Enjoy every phase

As we have already said, life is not static. You have already gone through the courtship phase and you have had your honeymoon. Now it is possible that you already have children. It could be that your children are even getting married or leaving home. All these changes greatly impact a couple's relationship. It is necessary that you figure out together what to do to live the best of each phase!

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Therefore, don't let the farewell of the children shake the couple's relationship, or the arrival of a child cool the marriage. Seek to have balance in your decisions.

  • Take care of self-esteem

Yes, this tip is very important. Many people understand that their spouse should be responsible for their happiness. However, he will never be able to fully meet this expectation (even if he wants to) Therefore, it is necessary for you to be aware that you are also responsible for your own well-being. Love yourself first, before loving your wife or husband.

This will make you feel more secure in the relationship and not have to suffer from excessive jealousy, for example. It will also help the couple to realize that there are individualities within the marriage, i.e. you will see that there are dreams that have not yet been realized.

  • Have empathy

If you have dreams, it is quite possible that your husband or wife has them as well. Therefore, pay attention to them and do your best to support your spouse in conquering them. Certainly, it is important that he feels that you care and that you really are on his side. Have you ever thought that the answer to the question "How to save my marriage" may lie in the way you show you care?

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  • Know how to set limits for the outsider

Parents, grandparents and friends are very important! Sometimes it even feels like you married into a family and not just one person. However, at the end of the day, it is you and your spouse who should take care of the marriage issues. If you let too many people interfere in your relationship, it may create a conflict situation between the two of you.

If you have problems with your partner's mother, try to avoid further conflicts, or if your mother has problems with your partner, avoid giving her "space" to "poison" your relationship.

  • Control your expenses

We know that many couples get into a crisis because one of the people involved cannot control their spending and ends up putting the family in debt. How about reading "Smart Couples Grow Rich Together" to get on the same wavelength? It is important that both of you know exactly what you can each spend and respect the decision that you have made. It is important that there is trust between the spouses.

  • Save

You have a plan, but no money? it's time to save up for it. You can buy a safe, and make a commitment to always put something inside, and never take anything out. The joy of achieving your dreams together will be enormous.

  • Stop Lying

Speaking about trust, if this is a habit between you, you need to stop telling each other lies. It doesn't matter if you have to tell about an unpaid bill or a betrayal. It can be a painful process, but if you want to save your marriage, it is important that you put everything on the table and try to find out how they can overcome these problems.

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  • Surprise each other

This is important too. Giving a gift, taking your spouse somewhere different, making a candlelit dinner.... all count. Sometimes routine can become tiresome, and at that moment it is important to innovate. Don't let shame stop you from trying new things. Let's get to work!

  • Praise yourselves!

We are so quick to criticize, aren't we? How about taking more time to praise our spouse? We are talking about praise without irony or ulterior motives. Exalt his performance at work, his appearance, and his talents. You will find that you will eventually receive compliments as well.

  • Help yourselves

If you know you can help your husband or wife with something, be sure to do it. She may need you to take care of the children so she can work for a few minutes, and he may need you to pay some bills at the bank on busy days, so never wait until things get chaotic to show your partner "service.

  • Ask for help

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You are a team, so you must work together. Sometimes the burden of routine can be lightened by your spouse's help, so leave your pride aside and delegate some tasks, but do it with care. It's no use wanting the other person's participation when you start the conversation with thousands of accusations.

  • Renew the vows

If you can do it, be sure to do it. The feeling of starting a new phase in marriage is very good. Especially when both parties are committed to improving. So, if you already understand what to do to answer "How can I save my marriage?", call a good crowd or your closest friends and make new vows. You will see how positive it will be!

See_also: The Hedgehog's Dilemma: Meaning and Teachings Read Also: Being impulsive or impulsive: how to identify?

Final considerations

We are not saying that changes will be easy and that they are foolproof. However, they have a great power to improve things in your marriage. When we renew our trust and joy in being together, our complicity and love increase! We hope you will put these tips into practice!

We still have one more suggestion for you: if you want to help couples to have a better relationship, take our Clinical Psychoanalysis course. It is entirely online and will help you learn all the content in the area that you need to meet the demands of the market. Don't waste time and enroll with us!

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If this article helped you answer your question of " how to save my marriage ?", share it with others! Also stay tuned to the other articles in this blog!

George Alvarez

George Alvarez is a renowned psychoanalyst who has been practicing for over 20 years and is highly regarded in the field. He is a sought-after speaker and has conducted numerous workshops and training programs on psychoanalysis for professionals in the mental health industry. George is also an accomplished writer and has authored several books on psychoanalysis that have received critical acclaim. George Alvarez is dedicated to sharing his knowledge and expertise with others and has created a popular blog on Online Training Course in Psychoanalysis that is widely followed by mental health professionals and students around the world. His blog provides a comprehensive training course that covers all aspects of psychoanalysis, from theory to practical applications. George is passionate about helping others and is committed to making a positive difference in the lives of his clients and students.