Who hasn't felt hit by someone in such a way that they feel hurt for a long time. In some cases, this feeling can last for years, causing a continuous sadness in the individual. Understand better the meaning of sorrow and what you can do to get rid of it when someone hurts you.

What is sorrow?

Sorrow is the reaction provoked as soon as another person offends us, disappoints us, or does any unkind deed Looking at some phrases about heartbreak, we notice that people see it as an open wound in the wind with no cure. But it all depends on your will to move on.

When someone says "you hurt me", it means that there is a mixture of boiling feelings. In general, it gives rise to anger, resentment and a growing sadness, feeding a great disappointment. In other senses, it can also indicate that a person envies something that another person possesses.

Knowing better the meaning of grief, keep in mind the power it has over you. This is because it can be quite difficult to forget a grief, depending on what happened. In some cases, the feeling can last for years on end, turning us into colder and/or sadder people.

What feeds it?

There are several factors to look at when someone hurts another person. It is known that everything originates from negative and painful situations, depending on the individual's sensitivity It all starts from the:

Betrayal

Having our trust in someone shaken is too hard a blow to take when it is not expected. With that, we feel vulnerable and without any physical or emotional support to establish ourselves.

Rabies

This eventually gives rise to anger. For the moment, nothing is worse than someone who has hurt you in such a deep way.

Deceptions

Putting hope in someone and seeing it broken also hurts us deeply Surely you have done this at some point in your life, either through trust or naivety. It is difficult for someone to forget a deception, and few forgive.

Sadness

Even if anger is created, a deep sadness takes over. Many don't admit it, but they feel the consequences of the wound in their innermost being and manifest themselves in any way they can about it. This can lead to indirect messages to the person who hurt you, for example.

Gossip

A simple lie sent behind one's back can destroy a person's life. Cases are common where someone is harmed, even though they have done nothing. The sense of conspiracy and the damage can leave serious wounds.

When we hurt

At some point, for whatever reason, we can be the reason for someone's hurt. Whether we like it or not, we end up hurting someone and deeply affecting their feelings. As the cause of the problem, we may not have a real sense of what we have done to it .

Not that she will stop feeling the whirlwind of emotions she carries within herself. In order to begin a repair, we must look at ourselves and understand why we are doing this. Regardless of what you find, you will have to admit to yourself and to the other how wrong you have been and want to redeem yourself.

Start by trying to undo what you have done, so that you stop feeding the wound. Even if an apology is honest, you should strive to do much more than apologize. Do what is in your power to make the other person realize your willingness to make amends.

What about when someone hurts us?

At this point it is difficult to accept our fragility and realize that we have no control over life. However, avoid blaming yourself and believing that, on some level, you were responsible for the other's attack Each one knows exactly what he does and can take appropriate responsibility for it.

Unfortunately there is no ready recipe to get rid of this feeling, because imagine me asking you to simply forgive someone? Do you think you can do that? If the answer is no, that's okay, because you are human and this kind of reaction is common.

In this case, you need to find ways to work through this pain in order to move on with your life. Keep in mind that every experience, whether good or bad, is an opportunity for growth. Try to understand how this helps you to evolve.

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Don't fight back

Think about it with me: what happens if you throw gasoline on a remnant flame from a large fire? Obviously, the flame will gain more intensity and size and continue to burn uncontrollably. This is exactly what will happen if you fight back: you will perpetuate the pain you feel .

However satisfying the desire for revenge may seem, it will not be the answer to what you feel. Sure, "the other will get what he deserves, but will you be healed and get what you need? Even being rude, you have to overcome the petty desire to get on top and try to be better.

Therefore, choose other alternatives besides repaying the harm you have received. I believe you are much better than that and will find other means to recover. Just like the fire, surely life will grow in you again through your wounds.

External Help

If the hurt is too great to be sustained alone, seek someone's help. A therapist can help you overcome the trauma by elaborating the whole story of this episode Not to mention that it will help you not to be the victim of the situation, something that is also harmful.

With his help you can work through the negative emotions you have been carrying around with you. Best of all is to get them off your chest with someone who was not part of the situation. This way you can understand other unbiased perspectives that will help you look at the situation as a whole.

Not to mention that the self-knowledge gained will help you find creative and constructive ways to work through your pain.

What to do to forget a hurt?

As said lines above, there is no ready recipe for getting over a hurt. What you can do is experiment, expose yourself a little more to discover new approaches to healing If you want to get rid of this wound, try to start:

Forgive

Okay, we said above that it is not easy, but you need to understand that forgiveness affects you more than the offender. This is because by forgiving, you are allowing yourself to be rid of that pain, letting it go. Also, you cannot live the rest of your life haunted by that wound.

Trying to talk

If possible, try to listen to the other party to understand the points you don't interpret on your own. Surely there is more between the lines that needs to be exposed, worked through, and brought to closure. Just like forgiveness, you will have the opportunity to work on yourself and expose how you feel.

Avoid visiting the past

The common mistake many people make is to insist on visiting the situation that caused the hurt, only to get hurt. With forgiveness, the scenario is left behind and no longer interferes in your life. Think about your present and what you want good for yourself in the future .

The evils of holding a grudge

Being able to overcome a hurt is very beneficial for us. But what about when we can't? We can keep all that pain we feel, and our body is not made to keep such feelings. And this can shake several areas of our life, from the physical, emotional and social. Here are some symptoms:

• physical - ulcers, allergies, asthma, and with time, cancer;
• Psychic - irritability, anxiety, and nervousness;
• social - decreased performance at work or school, isolation, apathy, and domestic conflict.

Messages about sorrow

As said before, it is necessary to exercise forgiveness in order to overcome a hurt. However, this is a very difficult practice for everyone, taking into consideration that trying to trust again is not always an easy path. And having some messages can help you reflect on the subject and look for some inspiration in these phrases. Here are some of them.

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"Sorrow altereth the seasons and the hours of repose, making night day and day night."- William Shakespeare

"I think, sadly, that our relationship has always been a bit one-sided, I don't know, I don't want to be unfair or anything - I'm just very hurt by these silences of yours.

"Please

Leave my heart alone

That he is a pot up to here of sorrow

And any inattention, do not

It could be the last straw." - Chico Buarque

Final Thoughts on Sorrow

How difficult is it for you to deal with grief? No matter how much someone has hurt you, you can't live as a hostage of this situation. Constructively, try to work through this pain, putting each point in its place and prioritizing your recovery.

Furthermore, it is important to emphasize that you should not become a victim of the situation. Victimizing yourself is not the way you will find to work through the moment in which you live, and it is also a lack of responsibility. You may not be responsible for what the other did, but you are responsible for your own healing.

If you want to do this properly, enroll in our online Clinical Psychoanalysis course. The course is a constructive outlet for working on yourself in any situation you can imagine. No matter how much sorrow Save it, we can help you to overcome it in an ennobling, productive and continuous way with our course.