Abandonment and the fear of abandonment

George Alvarez 05-06-2023
George Alvarez

Being lonely is something natural to any species, since we are generally quite independent. However, it is very common for an individual to be abandoned by a group or by a certain individual, but end up suffering because of it. See how the abandonment happens and the consequences of this act.

About abandonment

Abandonment is often the cause of many offices being crowded with patients In a good number of cases, this search for help is due to autophobia, that is, an absurd fear that the person has that he or she will be left. Because of the emotional dependence that one person nurtures on another, an almost life-long bond is created for the dependent. Even if you don't see it, it is quite harmful to yourself.

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The phobia is often found in individuals who have a personality disorder. In their minds, their world will collapse because at any moment their loved ones will abandon them There is a tension that accompanies you daily and affects your mental, emotional and physical health.

As a way to explain this fear of being abandoned, an individual unconsciously sabotages his actions. For example, Phrases like "You love them more than me" or "I'll leave you before you leave me" are common From then on, if unaccompanied, some may go to the extreme of attacking or depredating beings and objects.

Symptoms

The feeling of abandonment, even on a smaller scale, presents some signs that it is disrupting a person's life. This varies in degree and intensity, according to the individual. Thanks to this, there are different levels where the symptoms can manifest themselves. In general, they are:

Jealousy

A certain person should only exist to satisfy our social needs and not to be with others Even if he eventually understands that his partner has a life of his own, he relegates his moral concepts to a corner. His partner must serve him and only that.

Rabies

You create a love-hate relationship with the other person. Although one loves her, one also comes to hate her because of the fear of being left There is minimal guilt in this, but the need to have someone close prevails over this.

Seizure

The autophobe is apprehensive because he cannot imagine the moment when he will be abandoned There are no clear signs about it, or at least that he realizes it's going to happen. He gets agitated, uncomfortable. As a consequence, even your body changes, feeling symptoms of some imaginary illness.

Causes of fear of abandonment

Abandonment has registry marks in a person's life, revealing its causes. From there, it is possible to understand why someone fears so much being left by others. Here are some signs:

Traumas

In general, this proves to be the main catalyst for the fear of being abandoned. In childhood especially, the child witnesses its first abandonment and cannot handle it well. By trying to repress this memory, in order to lessen his pain, he only ends up accumulating the depredating effect it has .

Change

Regardless of its form, change also contributes to this fear Whether it is emotional, physical, financial or even an address, a person feels that something has left them. This also includes the death of a parent, where the person unconsciously blames the deceased for the event.

Anxiety

Although this topic is more complex, we can reduce the fear of being abandoned to an anxiety picture. Regardless of its form, this appears as both the cause and also the consequence of the problem. There is a tension for what comes next and this includes the fear of being alone .

Underdeveloped emotional framework

Many adults panic at the possibility of being left by their partners when their emotions are shaken. Money and emotions complete a vicious circle that not even he realizes. Although life together completes him, money is also a part of it. That is, when your partner leaves, your emotional comfort and financial help will also be gone .

Treatment

Treatment to deal with the fear of abandonment aims to build confidence in one's own individual capabilities There is an exercise where we affirm and recognize our positive capacities, walking on affirmations and not doubts, we can be guided into a field of psychic and physical well-being.

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Hypnotherapy, for example, is highly recommended in cases where there is a fear of abandonment. Through it, you can strengthen the positive aspects and drain the strength of the negative ones. As said above, you start believing in certainties and not in assumptions. The strongest wolf is the one you feed in your mind .

In addition, the family also assumes its responsibility here in the treatment. Through it, the incentive for the individual to change his or her perception will start. This also includes not carrying out destructive wills that it maintains during crises. Even if it is directed at a single person, it treats an entire group .

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The power of self-love

It is not easy to build a personal image to which we must cling independently of others. We constantly doubt who we are and what we can do, leaning on others so as not to be alone. Since we cannot support ourselves, others will do that, but we also risk abandonment. Your mind pushes in this way, avoiding feeling guilt for any failure .

It is necessary that we cultivate a decorum and love for our own image. This will give us more confidence for any situation in life. Without depending on anyone else to be happy, we can do it on our own. This is how we will be able to give love to others: by loving ourselves .

Final comments: abandonment

Although some people react better to abandonment, it hurts anyway The fear of the emptiness that a person will leave in his life ends up corrupting his mental structure. Even if it is nothing physical, the fear of abandonment equals illness or aggression.

If you fit into the above situation, I urge you to rethink what is going on around you. Is there even the slightest chance of this happening? Sometimes being honest with your partner and opening up helps a lot to bring relief to your life. Even so, medical follow-up should never be ignored .

Also, in case you know someone in a similar situation, look for our online Clinical Psychoanalysis course. On account of the tool, motivations become clearer and the return work also You will know what to do and when to do it.

Our classes are transmitted via internet, which makes it easy for you to follow them without losing physical and mental vigor. In this way, you end up watching them from any place and time that you find most convenient. Our teachers are partners with the students, helping them to tint the potential they carry with the help of the rich workbook.

Upon completion of all the modules, every student will receive a certificate showing all his or her background and competence as a psychoanalyst. Don't miss the chance to make a change in someone's life. Take our Psychoanalysis course now and learn how to deal with and teach others to deal with abandonment .

George Alvarez

George Alvarez is a renowned psychoanalyst who has been practicing for over 20 years and is highly regarded in the field. He is a sought-after speaker and has conducted numerous workshops and training programs on psychoanalysis for professionals in the mental health industry. George is also an accomplished writer and has authored several books on psychoanalysis that have received critical acclaim. George Alvarez is dedicated to sharing his knowledge and expertise with others and has created a popular blog on Online Training Course in Psychoanalysis that is widely followed by mental health professionals and students around the world. His blog provides a comprehensive training course that covers all aspects of psychoanalysis, from theory to practical applications. George is passionate about helping others and is committed to making a positive difference in the lives of his clients and students.