For many people, relationships are pieces of glass, so they can be broken at any time, with no chance of recovery. When you feel insecure, it is possible that any withdrawal in the relationship indicates that the other party involved is no longer interested. However, our feelings and emotions do not always correspond to the truth. On the other hand, we can makeyou learn how to foul .

Is it useful for you to learn how to foul?

By help we are referring to teaching you to find strategies that will help when communicating or even dealing with needs. There are people who, in their intention to be missed, end up disappearing from the lives of important people. Time and again this decision can lead the other person to despair and to pay attention. However, it is very problematic when that other identifies this attitude of yours as a recurring pattern.

Your way of dealing with the lack of attention from others resembles the fable of the boy and the wolf. Have you heard it? A young shepherd boy talks so much that he is being attacked by a wolf without it being true, that when the attack really happens, nobody cares anymore. In this way, you will end up without the attention you longed for.in the wrong way.

With the following tips, our idea is that you learn how to make lack with sobriety. It is necessary to understand your own lacks and not create strategies that involve an expectation about the behavior of the other. In fact, you will learn that lack is created when you get rid of the emotional dependency you develop. Once you learn to live well with yourself, those who live with you will feel the difference.

Tips for you to learn how to foul

1. allow yourself to live for yourself and not for others

First of all, it is important that you don't direct your life around someone else's response. if you want to be missed, this is already an indication that you are creating expectations about someone's behavior. it is as if you were working on stimuli and responses, as in behaviorism. so you think that if you do X, you will get a Y response. consequently, you expect that in this textwe will help you with that.

We beg leave to frustrate this desire, because we want here to draw your attention to yourself:

• Why do you wish someone would pay more attention to you?
• Is this person not giving you the attention you think you deserve, or does he or she not show that he or she misses you as much as you would like?
• Is it you who needs to pay more attention to what you expect from the relationship or in fact is it the relationship that is in crisis because of the other?

Knowing how to answer these questions is important in order to understand what to do. If you feel this sense of dislike or contempt from another person, you obviously shouldn't continue to feel bad.

2. invest moments of your day in moments of your own

To begin this movement of centering your life on yourself, having moments of solitude is quite important. In this context, it is very worthwhile to explain that solitude is quite different from loneliness, a super negative feeling.

By definition, aloneness is a person's state of privacy With this in mind, ask yourself if you have this kind of experience in your everyday life. Are there times when you can claim to develop your privacy? These bits of the day can be a cup of coffee, a meditation, a prayer.

You don't necessarily have to go on a journey of self-knowledge à la Cheryl Strayed, but being in solitude is important. In case you don't know the story of this inspiring woman, she decided after her divorce to experience the transformative power of a journey alone. She took the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), on the Pacific coast of the United States. After finishing his trip, he told his experience in a book that even became a movie!

3. go to therapy to understand how much you need and depend on the value someone else gives you

Although we recommend this time of solitude, we would like to draw your attention to another important point. Not every problem can be solved on its own, and often we need help to understand the origins of our behaviors and insecurities. In order for you to learn to miss it or to understand why you desire it, go to therapy.

During the process of treating yourself, you will understand yourself and the way you relate to other people. Perhaps you don't want to be missed, but to have your needs satisfied. On the other hand, you may not be able to read the other person's behavior well. So it is perfectly plausible that, in fact, you don't need to be missed, because you are loved and appreciated. Perhaps what isWhat is necessary here is to understand yourself well.

4. don't close yourself to the discovery of other relationships

While living this change of perspective, be sure to keep the door of your life open so that other people can relate to you. It is very common to see couples or families that close themselves off completely to other people. Thus, only the people involved in the family or marital bond can satisfy each other's needs, which is ineffective.

If you think you need to be missed or miss it, maybe opening up your circle of relationships will help you get a broader view of how a relationship can be more peaceful. You don't necessarily have to spend 100% of your time with your spouse or family member. It's important to have friends, confidants, and co-workers to celebrate the weekend with. Learn how to detach yourself from the most comfortable circle of relationships!

5. limit the amount of messages you send

One important thing to note here: don't keep sending reminders directly or indirectly to those you think should be missing you. Communicating your need or confessing your lack is one thing. Charging for behavior or pressuring is something else entirely. See that the response of the person being charged is more defensive than that of someone who is willing tolisten to you and make you happy.

I want information to enroll in the Psychoanalysis Course .

We understand that the desire to communicate your need is tempting. However, therapy or talking with someone can help you do this more intelligently and effectively Think about this before you act on impulse!

6. don't disappear from someone's life to get attention

Still talking about ineffective measures to get someone's attention, be mature when dealing with your relationships. Just like messages and posts, disappearing suddenly seems like an attractive way out. However, in order for you to learn how to miss it, it is important to know the distinction between emotional blackmail and effective communication. By disappearing out of nowhere and worrying a person, you bring into their lifeanxiety, pressure and despair.

Maybe you haven't thought about it, but these are terrible feelings for someone in a relationship. If you were the victim of this kind of attitude, you would immediately recognize how abusive it is, work with the maxim that you should not do to others what you would not like them to do to you Learn to communicate and avoid bringing a negative emotional burden into the relationship.

Learn to communicate your needs and understand what the other person can give

Finally, besides learning to communicate what you feel, understand that the other person will not always be able to fulfill your need. Remember that human beings are divided into very different personalities and that, therefore, we feel everything in equally different ways. You started reading this text thinking about missing someone, but what if that person doesn't miss you the same way you do? Orexpresses longing in a different way?

It is necessary to be aware of the other's needs and, more than that, to think about what the other can offer. If the wills and feelings don't coincide, it is natural to opt for termination. However, only after both learn to communicate their needs and limitations.

Final considerations

As you read today's text, you were thinking that we were going to help you with strategies so that you learn how to foul Although we have focused our orientations on you and not on the other, do you realize that this is exactly what we have done? By focusing on yourself, you make room for the other to see you and see you as someone who is well. To learn how to do this in more depth, enroll in our online Clinical Psychoanalysis course!