A self-confidence It is easy to explain why: in a world of insecure people, a person who trusts himself is considered overbearing or arrogant. But, in fact, this is not how the band plays. After all, trusting yourself in the right measure is the secret to a successful life! Read on, and we will explain why.

What is the meaning of self-confidence?

You see, as we said, there is a difference between self-confidence and overbearing. When we talk about overbearing people, we are thinking of individuals who feel superior to others. For this reason, this characteristic is not well regarded by people. After all, who likes to live with those who treat you as inferior?

Be assured that this is not the case with the self-confident person, because the self-confident person does not feel the need to try to diminish others, since this is a strong sign of insecurity. This individual simply knows himself well enough to know what his strengths are, and uses them to the best advantage.

After all, in a company, self-confident employees work better. In a family, self-confident people contribute to a better harmony in the home. In a school, self-confident students develop in the best way. Any self-confident human being tends to perform his or her tasks well and relate better with others.

The three reasons that may be preventing you from being self-confident

You may be a person who really wants to be self-confident, but you can't let go of your insecurity. If this is the case, don't think that you are the only one. In fact, many people find it difficult to develop greater self-confidence. There are reasons for this. If you want to know why you can't change, below we will show you three possible reasons:

1) You do not invest in self-knowledge

One of the answers comes back from ancient Greece, from the philosopher Socrates: "Know thyself". Only this way you will discover your strengths. After all, there is no such thing as a person who does not possess abilities.

Of course, not everyone is going to be very good at the same thing. There are people who are very good at calculating, but there are others who are better at painting canvases, others, in turn, turn out to be better at cooking, and so on! You see, this is not a competition. Each one has his or her strong point, and they are excellent at what they do.

If you are not very good at one aspect, don't focus your life on that. Try to understand what you excel at. Being aware of this will definitely increase your self-confidence.

2. you are in the wrong place

Sometimes you know what you are really good at, but you still don't feel self-confident. If this is the case for you, have you ever stopped to think about how much time of your day you spend on what you positively excel at?

This may be difficult to assimilate, but it is quite possible that you are in the wrong job or in a position in a team that does not make sense to you.

Doing what you really love can greatly increase your self-confidence. On the other hand, focusing all your attention on things you have little identification with can undermine your self-confidence. Think about it!

3. you are surrounded by critical people

Unfortunately, this may be the case for you. Even if you know what you're good at and take the attitude to invest your time in it, it's hard to feel secure in yourself when other people put you down. But don't think that this is the end of the world. You can take actions that will help you change this scenario.

One of them is dialogue. After all, these people are not always Machiavellian; sometimes they just have different ways of looking at life and are resistant to yours. Defending your point of view may be enough for this person to learn to respect you and put criticism aside. This is an excellent way to develop your self-confidence.

On the other hand, talking is not always enough to stop the criticism from some people. In this case, walking away is also an excellent option. After all, it's not worth having people around you who insist on putting you down. On the contrary, it's important to live with people who encourage you to be happy and reach your potential.

The seven effective attitudes to become a self-confident person

Now that you know some of the factors that may be undermining your self-confidence, we will give you some tips on attitudes that will help you be more self-assured. By putting each one of them into practice, there is no way you won't notice improvements in this sense!

1. spend more time with you

Remember the tip Socrates gave? That's exactly what we are talking about: you need time to get to know yourself. So you can open up your calendar and set aside a few moments of your week to spend in his company.

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In the minutes or hours you dedicate to this goal, you can develop new hobbies, get back to doing something that was left behind for lack of time, or even have moments of pure self-care. It is in these periods that you will begin to draw some valuable conclusions about your tastes and abilities.

2. do therapy

It may sound silly to many, but therapy is fundamental in the process of self-knowledge. It will be in these meetings with qualified professionals that you will question the root of your insecurity and will be able to understand what to do to be more self-confident.

Don't fall for the lure of believing that therapy is for crazy people. Quite the contrary: anyone should allow themselves to have this experience. It is much easier to come to some conclusions when you have the help of a trained person! Here's a hint!

3. qualify

It is very important to know that you are good at something. But going after more knowledge on the subject can help you feel much more confident to do what you are already good at. For example, if you are very good at cooking, why not go after a course that will improve you by teaching you the right techniques for doing each thing?

We are not telling you to plaster yourself to a template, but qualified knowledge can help you feel that you have actually mastered some skill, which will give you the confidence that you lack.

4. avoid comparing yourself

Comparison is not all bad, you learn a lot by looking at the other. However, it can be a very damaging habit when you start to diminish yourself and put the other individual on a pedestal.

Always keep in mind that no one person is on the same journey as you. You have a unique story, a unique personality, and unique abilities. It will be a mistake and an injustice to ignore this when putting yourself on an equal footing with someone else.

The ideal is to always seek to compare yourself with yourself. Always seek to be better than your past version and you will be on the right track. This will make you happy with the achievements of others and not ignore your own. After all, each individual has his or her own trajectory.

5. exercise your intuition

Insecure people often listen too much to other people's opinions, which is not bad when you learn to filter what you hear based on your own ideas about life.

However, the problem arises when you do not draw your own conclusions, but base everything you do on someone else's opinion.

If this is the case for you, know that it is never too late to act differently. Starting today, try to change your way of thinking. Decide for yourself whenever possible.

Always keep in mind that dealing with negative consequences of wrong choices is not the end of the world. You are capable of learning from your mistakes and moving on. But having to deal with the consequences of choices that other people have made for you can be too heavy. Get rid of this weight today. It will seem hard at first, but then it will be liberating!

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6. always run after inspiring stories

Do you like to hear a good story? It is hard not to, isn't it? If even that silly gossip arouses our curiosity, imagine an inspiring story?

Well, try to learn about the lives of people who inspire you, without comparing yourself negatively, but rather thinking that if this person has succeeded, you can succeed too, because everyone has potential.

What's more, you will realize that the person you see as super-successful didn't always start out that way. In fact, it's quite possible that he started out insecure, inexperienced, and immature. This is because the greatest success stories are also journeys of overcoming. You will see how your self-confidence will increase when you fill your mind with these stories.

7. exercise self-care

If you don't take care of yourself, you will hardly ever feel confident in yourself. See we are not telling you to fit into a standard as many encourage (e.g. lose weight, put on weight, etc.). What we are telling you is to be more caring for yourself!

When did you last scalp and exfoliate your skin? Do you remember when you bought an outfit for yourself this year? Do you feel rested? Are you nourishing your body the way it needs to be? Does your haircut suit you?

The answers to these questions can help you understand if you are excelling in your self-care or if you are letting yourself down. Keep in mind that when you improve your self-esteem your self-confidence also increases.

The 10 questions to test if you are developing self-care

Now that you know what self-confidence is, and you also know how to develop greater self-assurance, we will briefly summarize everything we have told you so far. That way, whenever you want to know if you are evolving in this direction, you can ask yourself the following questions and come to a satisfactory conclusion.

First of all, however, we recommend that you be patient with yourself, because your self-confidence will not develop in the blink of an eye. In fact, it is a process that, like any other, takes time.

So if you find that you haven't made much progress yet, take a deep breath and think about how you can improve from here on out. Remember that you can always surpass your past version. That said, here are our 10 questions.

1. "Am I devoting enough time to be with myself?"

As we said, you need to develop your self-knowledge to feel more secure in yourself. Always take the time to discover what you like to do and you will see how your self-confidence will increase.

2. do I set aside times in the week to do what I love?"

It's simple: once you have discovered what you like to do, keep doing those things. Occupying your time with what makes you happy is a great way to increase your self-confidence.

3. "Have I learned to put a stop to people's destructive criticism?"

Criticism can undermine your self-confidence, so keep in mind that you need to be surrounded by people who put you up and not down.

4. "I wonder if today isn't an excellent day for a therapy session."

We have already answered that yes, but if you still have doubts, remember that the help of a therapist will help you to identify more clearly your progress in the search for self-confidence.

5. "Am I investing in my qualification?"

As we already said, in order for you to feel more confident about your skills, you may need a qualification (e.g. a course, an undergraduate degree, a post-graduate degree, etc.). This can help you to feel that you really have mastered what you do.

6. "Do I still tend to compare myself to other people?"

Theodore Roosevelt said that "comparison is the thief of joy". Of course, we would even say that of self-confidence as well. This is because people with unique paths should not compare the path they walk. This makes no sense and only brings insecurity to you.

7. "Am I learning to listen to myself more?"

Remember not to listen too much to other people's opinions and forget about yourself. Your point of view on life is also valuable, and should even be viewed more sympathetically by you.

8. "Have I sought to inform myself of inspiring stories?"

Everyone needs inspiration to achieve their dreams. If you really want to increase your self-confidence, don't hesitate to look for stories that encourage you to achieve what you want. You will find that you will feel much more motivated and hopeful about life.

9. "Have I been practicing self-care?"

If your self-esteem is low, your self-confidence is unlikely to increase. Knowing this, be sure to give yourself the care and rest you need. You will see in time how much more self-confident you will feel because you are feeling good about yourself.

10.[BONUS QUESTION] "Have I helped other people?"

We haven't talked about this before, but it is still worth addressing. When you realize that you are capable of bringing joy into someone's day, you will become much more sure of your capabilities. You will notice that it doesn't take much to make a difference in the world!

Final considerations

We hope that this text has helped you to know what self-confidence is, and also to understand what you need to do to develop this characteristic. You may have already realized that by now you have a lot of thinking to do and putting it into practice. In fact, there are some tips in there that are not easy to digest. Talk is easier than action.

Still, we want to emphasize that this journey is to be taken calmly, respecting your time and your limits. With time, you will naturally realize how much you have evolved and will feel even more self-confidence The secret is to be patient but persistent. If the urge to give up appears because you think you can't do it, take it one step at a time and you will go far!