Many people who are in a toxic relationship can fall victim to their partners' frame-ups without realizing it. It turns out that many individuals demonstrate an ability to manipulate their partners. To better explain this situation, understand the meaning of gaslighting and how to identify it.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is manipulation by one person in order to manipulate the partner A lot of information is distorted, omitted, and invented in order for the person to continue the psychological abuse of the victim. In turn, the victim lives with a feeling of fear and insecurity in relation to the abuser.

In addition to self-doubt, the target of this abuse takes full responsibility for the problems in the relationship. Therefore, in more serious cases the individual begins to doubt his own sanity.

For example, a common situation is when one person suspects infidelity, but the other maintains that it is an exaggeration and claims that none of it is real.

Then it becomes clear how the abuser dismisses the suspicions and accuses the partner of creating conflict, and in this way the victim forgets for a moment this mistrust and feels bad for having caused this confrontation.

Everyday machismo

Gaslighting can be practiced by both women and men in their relationships. However, this abusive behavior is frequent among the male public Something that contributes a lot to this reality is the machismo present in our society.

The word gaslighting originated from the movie Gas light in Portuguese In the half light Released in 1944, the film shows an abusive husband trying to convince his wife and her friends that she is crazy. To do so, he manipulates his surroundings, denying comments that the house is changing.

When the suffering of others is profitable

In studies about gaslighting, psychology makes it clear that mistreating the victim is a way to benefit from the situation. Even if the abuser is confronted by this behavior, he will deny having evil intentions.

However, the victim is mentally destabilized by the manipulations and wants to know what the partner is thinking all the time. Even if family and friends notice the problem and try to warn, the target of the frame-ups does not identify the partner as the problem. This type of relationship is a problem for the victim's mental health and self-esteem.

The Danger of Gaslighting

Being a form of psychological violence, gaslighting affects the psyche of the victim because of the constant psycho-emotional manipulations. So much so that individuals who cannot break up abusive relationships have a fragile self-esteem due to the abuse they have suffered .

In general, the aggressor starts making subtle accusations so that his partner's self-confidence is shaken. In this way the victim stops believing in herself, questions herself all the time, and believes more in the other. Thoughts like "am I exaggerating?" or "am I acting crazy?" become more and more common.

Then, feeling more confident, the abusive partner makes more direct attacks. For example, the abuser may claim that the victim's accusations are because of lack of self-esteem, personal dissatisfaction, or low intellect.

Gaslighting Phrases

Individuals who practice gaslighting usually have a similar repertoire, repeating phrases like:

"Have you gone crazy?"

"It's your fault"

"That's just something in your head"

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"You are very insecure"

"Stop this drama"

"It is you who gets everything wrong"

"You are very sensitive"

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"You know it's a joke, right?"

"Stop picking on everything"

"That's not how it happened"

Criticizes the victim's personality by beginning a critique with "Your problem is that..."

Is it possible to identify gaslighting?

Since she suffers discrete manipulations, the victim of gaslighting has difficulty recognizing the abuse. All because she is mentally exhausted and may develop signs of a depression.

To identify this phenomenon in the relationship, the victim needs:

• Reflect

It is important to analyze your partner's behavior in a more rational way and question what emotions he generates in you Staying with this partner generates well-being, stress, good emotions or anxiety? That is why it is important to reflect.

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• List the amount of conflicts he caused

The victim needs to think about the occasions when her partner has lied or made false accusations about her. If the number of conflict situations is large, the victim is certainly being assaulted without knowing it.

• Doubtful clarifications

The abuser will try to show how the victim acts wrong, confused and transfers to her the responsibility of her actions He may even tell how his victim should feel about the events said in the conversation, so this attitude also becomes doubtful.

Receiving Help

Those who suffer from gaslighting should seek the support of loved ones and psychologists to recover. Besides recovering self-esteem, this support network will help you recover your self-love and confront the abusive partner. Getting help is important so that you don't give in to his traps and understand how wrong he is.

If your partner tries to twist situations to make you feel guilty, be firm and point out the omissions and lies told by him. There will certainly be a refusal on his part to admit or acknowledge his destructive attitudes. Then you must understand the feelings that this relationship causes and what your goals are for the future.

Always believe in how much you deserve a partner who does you good and shares a healthy life with you Always question toxic relationships and avoid getting stuck in the trance that psychological violence causes. Therapy is the ideal environment to get away from the abuser, take care of your own emotions, and gradually start your life over.

Concluding remarks on gaslighting

Realizing how gaslighting affects your health can get you out of bad relationships The use in psychology, as well as translation and gaslighting, describes a manipulative and dangerous partner. Without a doubt, anything the victim says will be used against her.

A healthy relationship is marked by an exchange of both sides, support, encouragement, and the ability to talk openly between the couple. Besides doing you good, this kind of relationship will bring out the best in your feelings, as well as show the truth in your partner. True love does not manipulate, but rather welcomes the couple to develop to show their best.

The classes help you to improve your interactions and deal appropriately with conflicts that may arise naturally in relationships, so improve your self-knowledge skills and unleash your potential as a full human being.