If you have come this far, it is because you want to know more about self-sabotage Perhaps you feel that you have been sabotaging yourself and want help to understand this. After all, in life we have already faced so many things, we don't need to be one more agent against ourselves.

In this article, we will talk a little bit about what it is self-sabotage In addition, we will tell you the signs that you are self sabotaging and how to get out of it.

Sabotage according to the dictionary

Let's start by talking about the definition of sabotage If we look it up in the dictionary we will see that it is a feminine noun. The etymology of the word is French: sabotage .

And among its definitions we see:

• is a action of causing damage so that something is prevented from functioning regularly This can be in relation to companies, institutions, means of transportation, roads...;
• is the action of sabotaging;
• In relation to the figurative sense of the word, we see that it is any action that has the purpose of harming someone .

What about self-sabotage?

But what is self-sabotage This is the action of sabotaging yourself, that is, acting against your plans and desires. It is an unconscious process in which we set ourselves against our own impulses and thoughts, as a result, we acquire behaviors to punish ourselves and not achieve the success we want It is about going against the success for which we have worked so hard and fought so hard.

There are several factors that can influence and trigger this process. One of the most significant is our childhood. Psychoanalysis itself says that the traumas experienced during this period are the most determining factors in our lives.

It is in this phase that we acquire references to build our mental base, because we are having our first social contact. Therefore, our family is our first nucleus, and it shapes who we will be. Therefore, if we suffer several traumatizing deprivations and prohibitions, we start to believe that we deserve it. We even believe that we don't deserve to receive good things.

Signs of self-sabotage

Above all, it is important to know that it is natural, throughout life, for our goals to change. However, it is important to differentiate when this is actually a self-boycott. That is, when you give up on something because you don't believe you are capable of achieving that goal.

In view of this, here we have brought you a list of some behaviors that may indicate that you are self-sabotaging .

Typical self-sabotaging behaviors

Believing that you are "undeserving"

When we feel weak and increasingly unworthy of something, it takes us away from happiness. Thus, we have the need to run away from the role that we consider unfit for us. We start to value our failures more and really believe that we don't deserve to conquer anything. Consequently, we believe too much in the judgments of others and too little in our own virtues.

Not recognizing your own achievements

We strive every day for our goals. It is a long and arduous process to get where we want to be. However, when we are experiencing self-sabotage, we deny these victories. Consequently, we believe that we have done nothing, and are unable to celebrate or recognize our merits.

Always focus on what is missing or not good

It is not difficult to understand this sign, after all, our society seems to be more and more immersed in an infinite desire. Nothing is good enough, nothing is enough, nothing satisfies. However, this is a sign that we are self-sabotaging, because we can never believe in what we do. Thus, one is never good enough to celebrate. It is a vicious circle that makes us empty.

Having the need to talk a lot about your achievements to find a sense of worthiness

It is extremely healthy to talk about our achievements with those we share our lives with. However, talking only about it can always be a need to believe what you yourself say.

This attitude is a sign that you desperately need people to reinforce that you have achieved something. In this way you make evident your need for them to accept and approve of what you are and what you do. In this way you place your self-esteem in the hands of others.

Having feelings of inferiority and the need to compare oneself

You feel that you are never enough, that nothing you do is unique. You always resort to comparison. After all, that cousin of yours at the same age is already married, with children, educated and rich. And you? No matter how far you have come in your dream, you haven't arrived as you wanted?

It is necessary to understand once and for all that people are not the same. Each one has his or her own time and transforms the world around him or her in a unique way. Comparison and inferiority will not help you to be better.

I want information to enroll in the Psychoanalysis Course .

Having an excessive need for control

Life is not something we can control. We can plan, but absolute control is impossible. This exaggerated need may be the way our brain creates to sabotage us, because when we don't achieve something, it is normal to get frustrated, so trying to control everything will generate frustration. The more frustrated we get, the more disgusted and discouraged with life we will be.

Being afraid to fail and relate

As we said above, when something does not meet our expectations, we get frustrated. Imagine, then, the weight of when we ourselves are the agents of this frustration? It is not easy. However, to err is human. We won't always be able to do everything and in the best way, and that's okay. We can't let that stop us from trying and relating.

How to face self-sabotage

Now we have seen some of the signs that we may be getting self-sabotaging So, let's meet a series of 7 useful strategies for overcoming self-sabotage .

1. keep your goals in mind in a clear and objective way

It is necessary that we know exactly what we want. Many times, self-sabotage happens because what we are trying for is not what we really want. Consequently, we don't really dedicate ourselves to it. Delimiting our goals in a rational and objective way will help us decrease this tendency to self-sabotage.

2. stay motivated

Motivated people are able to understand what they need and what skills are required to achieve their goals. So set a goal, set achievable goals, and motivate yourself to reach them.

3. analyze your behaviors

Above all, self-knowledge is extremely important to face self-sabotage. It is through this that you will be able to analyze your attitudes and know what has been holding you back. So recognize, analyze, and change what has been hurting you.

4. try to be patient

It is only through patience that we can reach our goals. Nothing happens overnight and only great things come with time. Having patience to conquer the small goals will lead us to the final objective. However, if we don't have the patience for it, we won't even be able to accomplish the small things.

5. understand that nothing in life comes easy

As with patience, we need to understand that few paths are easy. Therefore, we need to be prepared for changes, to face adversity. Remember we said that you can't control everything? Well, it's not easy, but if that's what you want, don't give up.

6. seek professional help

A professional can help us combat self-sabotage in a more effective way. He will help us understand what toxic behaviors we are having and their origins. In addition, he will guide us on the best way to cope with it. Examples of professionals suited to deal with this kind of problem are psychologists and psychoanalysts.

7. believe that it is possible

As we have seen, self-sabotage makes us believe that nothing is possible, that everything is too difficult. In addition, we feel that we are not worthy of being happy. However, it is necessary to change this line of thinking.

An interesting way to achieve this is to be inspired by those who have already achieved what we want to achieve, not by looking at it in an envious way, but by understanding that if they have achieved it, so can we.

Conclusion

Self-sabotage is something that can result in very serious problems. After all, we can get into a deep spiral of sadness and suffering. This is why it is important to seek help and try to change.

I want information to enroll in the Psychoanalysis Course .

Read Also: Peter Pan Syndrome: what is it, what are its characteristics?

So, speaking of help, if you want to go deeper into the subject of self-sabotage, our Clinical Psychoanalysis course is a great help. It's totally online, complete, inexpensive, and also a great opportunity for growth. Don't miss this opportunity to know yourself better and to develop professionally.